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Wednesday, July 25, 2012
22 Cringe-Worthy Scenes: Part II
You know what? 22 just wasn't enough. One of the first lists Cinema Beans constructed was 22 Cringe-Worthy Scenes, and now we're back for more. And the same rules apply: if it makes you shudder, flinch and twitch awkwardly as awful things occur, then it's fair game. So here we go: 22 Cringe-Worthy-er Scenes that are great for first dates and whatnot. And, of course:
***SPOILERS***
1. American History X (1998)
Curb stomping may be an American pastime, but in the wrong light...I guess it can seem sort of gruesome. Inhumane, if you will...downright abominable? Well, however much fun it can be, Derek Vinyard had to go ahead and ruin it by fueling his deathly stomp with racism, forever immortalizing a moment on screen that, no matter how hard you try, ya just can't shake it.
2. Pan's Labyrinth (2006)
Captain Vidal wasn't necessarily the nicest guy, but why did he have to go ahead and bash that poor boy's face in? With the butt of his gun, no less...just flip that thing around and put him out of his misery. Guillermo Del Toro isn't exactly known for his restraint, basically guaranteeing that we'll have to watch the entire ordeal. Oh, and there's that scene where Vidal's face is ripped Joker-style. But hey, the little girl's story is sorta sweet, right?...right?
3. Irréversible (2002)
Believe it or not, it's true: a movie chronicling the rape of a woman in reverse-chronological order is, yeah, sort of depressing and near-unwatchable. Cringe-worthy, if you will. Irréversible: great for first dates and movie-watching on the subway.
4. Drive (2011)
Thank God Ryan Gosling was in this movie. For as Driver stomps a man's head to bits on an elevator with his lover trembling behind, the Eighth Wonder of the World (aka Ryan Gosling) pulls back and light bathes his puppy-dog face, which, strangely, is still sort of adorable covered in blood. It helps to erase the memory of what happened like 5 seconds before that...well, almost.
5. Casino (1995)
Joe Pesci is to Martin Scorsese as Steve Buschemi is to the Coen Brothers--he's gonna get beat up or die. Nicky sorta had it coming, but goddamn those metal bats sound like they hurt. The only thing worse than witnessing the beating was watching him get buried alive, which seems an unfit punishment for anybody not named Hitler, amirite guys?
6. Eraserhead (1977)
It's hard to just choose one David Lynch film for this list. Not that I have to, but I've challenged myself to, and I'm choosing the baby-open-heart-surgery-gone-horribly-wrong scene from Eraserhead. Henry wasn't Father of the Year or anything, but damn that seems like some wildly irresponsible parenting. You could probably go ahead and throw in that scene with the chicken while we're at it--most awkward dinner table EVEEEERRRRR...
7. Bug (2006)
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DON'T PULL THAT TOOTH OUT!
Oh, and:
"I am the Super Mother Bug!!!"
Sorry, had to do it.
8. Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961)
Cringe-worthy for a whole 'nother reason. I don't care how many years pass, nothing will shake the sheer awkwardness of Mickey Rooney's rendition of Mr. Yunioshi--an old, angry Japanese man sputtering complaints. I make the same screwed-up face every time Rooney speaks as when Edward Norton curb stomps that poor kid.
"Miss Gorightry!"
*FACE PALM*
9. Black Swan (2010)
Jesus, why don't you own a pair of fingernail clippers?!
10. Werckmeister Harmonies
Both the greatest scene and culmination of Béla Tarr's masterful Werckmeister Harmonies is a sinister series of events, featuring several town members rushing a local hospital and beating its patients. Not exactly unwatchable, but one of those slow-burn cringes that just won't seem to fucking end.
11. Pulse (2001)
If you haven't seen Pulse, stop reading this and go watch it right now. If not for witnessing one of the scariest and deeply layered horror films of the Aughts, then for its most cringe-worthy scene, featuring a slinking silhouette of a ghost slowly lurking its way down a hallway, and then creeping itself over a chair and peering into the frame.
12. Martyrs (2008)
So...yeah! Martyrs is this movie about a girl who gets tortured for a few years as a child by a mysterious league of suburbanites. Well, everything cringe-worthy takes place AFTER this revelation, from Lucie murdering an entire family with her shotgun to her own suicide in the backyard. But the worst? Upon discovering a girl trapped away in a cell, Anna places the girl for a bathtub in a sweet, somber moment, only to ruin it by proceeding to pry out each embedded nail in the poor girl's head.
13. Deep Red (1975)
Ah, horror films are just too easy, aren't they? Pretty much every murder in Deep Red can cause a bad case of the cringies, but their culminations always take it to the next level. It speaks volumes of Dario Argento's masterful hand over the genre, as he meticulously builds each murder scene, concentrating on the minor details before impaling one of his victims through the throat with a piece of broken window. Also, let's not forget the murderer's demise, as her(?!) head is pulled from her body as the elevator rises with her necklace firmly attached.
14. The Evil Dead (1981)
Sam Raimi's The Evil Dead is a wee bit on the goofy side, but it can can as unforgivable as horror films get. And there's nothing like a good ole catfight! Until one of them shoves a pencil in the other's ankle. Just look!
15. The Tenant (1976)
The entire time Trelvosky approaches the open window in his room, dressed in women's clothes and suicide on his mind, I'm doing my best impression of The Thinker sculpture, except I'm biting my fist, twisting my face, and wishing it wasn't happening.
16. Beyond the Black Rainbow (2011)
There a few moments in this one, with people drowning in black muck and heads blowing up and whatnot, but it's that final scene where Barry goes apeshit and murders two innocent bystanders in a field where I finally say, "Yeah, I could've gone without seeing that."
17. Revolutionary Road (2008)
I'm not sure if I actually have to write this one out...well, one thing's for sure: this movie legitimized the notion that wire hangers should simply NOT exist.
18. The Kid With a Bike (2011)
It had to happen eventually. With Cyril's capricious behavior and history of acting out, the second he attains that pair of scissors--however tiny the incision in his foster mother was--we know the result will be less than entertaining.
19. Ugetsu (1953)
While waiting patiently for her husband, Ohama endures an attack from three malicious men hell-bent on stealing her food. The snail-pace progression of the scene and the constant cries from the son she carries on her back are all amplified by Kenji Mizoguchi's relentless long shot of the ordeal.
20. Blue Velvet (1986)
Ah fuck it, I'm doing another David Lynch film. You can't say, "Baby wants to fuck!" without it sounding creepy, but Dennis Hopper takes it to another level, making for several scenes that are cringe-worthy, with the worst being a scene where he takes Jeffrey, kisses his face, sings a solemn tune, and beats the livin' daylights outta him.
21. Million Dollar Baby (2004)
How did I miss this one? Good Lord, no boxing match should end like this. I'll watch Tyson bite off Holyfield's ear any day of the week over this.
22. Deliverance (1972)
Yeah, I saved it for last on purpose. When your entire film is a psychological tale stemming from a single event, that particular scene better fucking deliver. Not only does Bobby's unfortunate encounter with incestual hillbillies in the woods fit the bill, but it's damn near unwatchable. "Squeal like a pig!" was just a bit much, don't you think?
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